This Town
by Ben is Glory
Summary: When Xander and Dawn leave Sunnydale, they never look back. AU from End Of Days. DX


TITLE: This Town  
AUTHOR: Ben is Glory  
RATING: R

PAIRING: D/X

SETTING: AUs when Xander and Dawn leave Sunnydale in End Of Days  
DISCLAIMER: Worship Joss. He is the mastermind. The story is loosely based on the GotR song of the same name. Wow, complicated sounding.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have been working on this story since the beginning of TIME! Well, more like summer, but still. I've finally finished tweaking part one. Thank you so much to Annie, Lauren, and Sarah for the wonderful beta and ideas.  
FEEDBACK: Please please please!

* * *

Xander was always good at running away. From when he was a child to being the full-grown adult that left the woman he loved at the altar, fleeing and not dealing with consequences was what he did best. He wasn't a fighter, he wasn't a hero; on the inside he was just a scared little boy. And this time was no different.

* * *

A million jumbled thoughts ran through Xander's head as his car careened down the road and out of Sunnydale. Every few seconds his attention would flicker over to the slumbering girl in the seat beside him. She looked so peaceful and innocent when she was sleeping, and he was struck at how she resembled the child she was not too long ago. The child he had fought to protect. The child that had brought the earth to its knees.

Nerves made him tense up, and he desperately gripped at the steering wheel. Worry and doubt plagued his features, and he prayed that he was doing the right thing. He prayed that by following Buffy's orders, he was buying himself as well as Dawn a chance to rest. That's all they've ever wanted, anyway.

His car's headlights shining straight ahead were all he could make out and everything he ever needed to see. Things had gotten so mixed up that driving and never looking back was all he could make sense of. But he couldn't stop thinking of everything he'd left behind in Sunnydale. He always did have trouble letting go.

Dawn began to stir, and Xander rehearsed once more the well-practiced speech he'd prepared to explain what was going on. "Hey, Dawn. Dawn, you awake?"

"What happened?" she groaned, rubbing her head gently with a hand.

He looked back at the road. "Um, I thought you might say that."

Glaring at him, she corrected, "Actually, I meant to say what the _hell _happened?"

"It was chloroform."

"Color forms… what?" She shook her head, not understanding.

"Chloroform. Are you still loopy?" Concern flooded his voice, and he wondered if this was all just a big mistake. Maybe this time he had gone too far.

Still irritated, she replied, "Sorry. Someone knocked me out with _chloroform_." Her senses returned, and she automatically knew something was wrong. "Xander, what's going on?" When he didn't answer, her panic rose. "Where are we going? _Talk_ to me."

Not knowing the actual answer to the question, he settled for, "Away," and handed her a letter.

Dawn took the envelope and looked at it, confused. "What's this?"

"Just open it," he told her, keeping everything short and simple like he wished it could be.

She could feel her throat close up when she started to read. Buffy wanted them gone. Buffy wanted them out of Sunnydale to keep them safe. But Dawn knew what she really wanted: she wanted them out of the way so she didn't have to worry about them. Well, maybe that worked for Buffy, but it did not work for Dawn. "Turn around," she said, her voice low.

Xander quickly threw her a look. "What? No!"

"Turn around, now!"

At Dawn's shriek, he pulled the car over to the shoulder and switched off the ignition.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, tears welling up. "We have to go back!"

"We're not going back, Dawn." He tried his best to sound firm, knowing that if he didn't keep up the façade, he'd cave, and he couldn't let Buffy down. Not this time, when he had already let everybody down so many times in the past.

She knitted her brow, disbelief washing over her. "How can you say that? They _need_ us, Xander. We can't just abandon them."

He shook his head. "Dawnie, we're not…"

She ignored the tears that gently began to fall and let emotion cloud her voice. "Yes we are! It's the end of the world, and we're not there. We should be with them."

"They want us gone!" Xander's stern tone shook her, and she moved back in her seat. "We're not abandoning them because they want us gone."

She turned away from him, not wanting to believe the truth, and rested her head against the glass of the window. Closed her eyes and whispered, "Don't."

But he was too torn to stop. He was in this all the way, and everything had to be out on the table to save them. "It's true, Dawn. They don't need us." Realizing his harshness, Xander leaned over and softly stroked her hair. "Hey, Dawnie," he cooed, trying to make everything okay again but knowing it was all too fucked up at this point to matter. "It's all right. Everybody's going to be okay. They're all going to be fine. They can take care of themselves," he chanted.

Dawn felt her world come crashing down around her. Everything that Buffy told her had been a lie. She promised they would spend more time together. Even in the letter, Buffy swore to show her the world. But none of it was true. That's what hurt the most. "Why doesn't she want me?" she cried, a sob wracking her body.

Xander tried to coax her into a hug, but she shied away, pulling her knees to her chest and curling up in her seat. They sat in silence, both trying to figure out what to do next. "This is it, Dawn," he told her as he turned the car on again and drove back out onto the road. "This is our chance at a normal life."

She didn't say anything as they flew down the highway in the night.

* * *

Xander made sure to put a good amount of distance between the car and Sunnydale before they stopped. He waited until he could barely keep himself awake and then veered off the highway in search of a motel in some nameless town. The clock read almost four.

He pulled into the parking lot of the first decent place he found. Dawn had already nodded off a few hours ago, so he shook her lightly to wake her up. "Dawnie. Come on, Dawnster."

Letting out a little whine, she said, "Not right now, Buffy. Go away."

"It's not Buffy, Dawn. Time to wake up," he told her quietly.

Her eyes opened, and she sat up straight in her seat. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she grumbled, "Where are we?"

"Some town. A motel. I don't know; it doesn't matter." He opened his door and got out of the car. Dawn did the same and frowned when she saw the building that she was supposed to spend the night in.

"That's where we're staying?" She made a disgusted face and looked up at Xander.

"Don't start. This is what we can afford, and it's just for one night."

She slammed her car door shut angrily. "What about clothes? Did you ever think of that? If we're gonna be doing the whole road trip from hell deal we at least need something."

"In the trunk," he answered patiently, raking a hand through his hair. "We each have a bag packed in the trunk. It should last us a while." He didn't want to think of the possibility that things in the bag would run out, that he would be away from home long enough for that to happen. When that time came, he knew all hope would be lost.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and walked with him to the back of the car to grab their belongings. When he had closed the door and locked everything up, they made their way to the main office, Dawn always making sure to walk at least two feet away from Xander.

He let out a sigh as he held the door open for her and she just glared in response. Giving up, Xander walked in to the front desk and rang the little bell sitting on the counter, hoping that someone could put them in a room so early in the morning.

The pair waited a minute or two before an old lady dressed in a fluffy blue bathrobe hobbled in from the back office to help them. "Hello, there," she greeted them cheerfully, despite the time. "What can I do for you folks?"

"We just need a room," Xander told her, giving her a sleepy smile.

The elderly woman shot him a uncertain look. "Just one room?" she clarified.

"Yes."

Dawn couldn't believe this. "You're joking, right? I don't even get my own room?"

He turned around giving her his best impression of Willow's resolve face. "No, Dawn. We stay together. That's the plan, and we're sticking to it. Buffy wouldn't be happy if the Cyclops lost her only sister."

"I can't believe this," the teenager mumbled under her breath and turned around so she didn't have to face him.

"Name, please," the woman said, interrupting the awkward pause.

"What?" he asked, caught off guard.

"Your name, sir."

"Oh, um, Alexander Harris." He waited while she typed the information in to a computer.

"Here you are, two room keys for you. You're in room seventeen, just down the hall and to your left."

Xander thanked her and took the keys, heading down the corridor with Dawn slowly following behind. When they got to their room, he slid the key in, removed it, and opened the door.

Dawn breezed right past him into the room that they would call home for tonight. She flipped on the light and took a look around. Two twin beds stood on opposite sides of a nightstand. At least she wouldn't have to share a bed with Xander. A telephone lay on top of the little table next to a lamp. There was a small television set across from the beds, and a table and chair sat in the corner. The bathroom was a bit dingy, but she kept reminding herself that it was only for one night. After today she could go back to being Dawn, girl from Sunnydale. It was just for one night.

Moving to the bed farthest from the door and setting her bag beside it, she flopped down and kicked off her shoes. She grabbed the remote control from the bedside table and turned on the television as Xander started to get settled in, shrugging off his tan suede jacket and hanging it in the nearby closet.

Xander rummaged through his bag, taking out a pair of long, dark green cotton pants to sleep in. He walked into the bathroom, closed the door, and looked at himself in the mirror. The person that was gazing back didn't resemble him at all. He realized then that nothing would ever be the same again.

As he stripped off his denim shirt and brown pants, he pulled his wallet out of the back pocket. Opening it up, he found just what he was looking for: a small picture of Anya. It was taken the night they announced their engagement, Halloween. She sparkled and shined, and she truly was an angel. His angel. He rubbed the image with his thumb before returning it to its place. Trying to block out all thoughts and memories, he quickly pulled on his pajama pants, picked up his clothes, and left to join Dawn.

When Xander came back into the room, she was watching some mindless infomercial telling the world about the joys of being able to cook fish, onions, and cake in one pan. "That's some quality show ya got there," he joked, trying to lighten the mood. She pretended not to notice. "How about getting some rest, Dawnster? Been a pretty busy day."

She clicked off the TV in annoyance and bent down to unzip her duffle bag. Tucked away the corner was a pink stuffed pig, Mr. Gordo. Attached to him was a short note in Buffy's handwriting. _Keep him safe._ She tucked him under the blankets of her bed holding back her tears as she returned to her other things. Grabbing the pair of jammas that Buffy had packed for her, she shuffled off to the bathroom and locked the door. For absolutely no reason whatsoever, Dawn turned on the faucet. Just stared as the water flowed out of the dirty tap. She remembered how Buffy used to do that just after she had gotten back. It seemed like she could see everything as the liquid cascaded out of the spout. Dawn felt warm tears stream down her face, and she shut the water off and wiped at her cheeks. Racing, she quickly ripped off her red shirt and black pants and pulled on her white tank top and gray cotton shorts.

Lying back on his bed, Xander felt like he had had the wind knocked out of him when she emerged again. The way the cloth clung to her body, tight in all the right-- but wrong-- places, he didn't remember her ever looking like this before. It was as if they both were coming alive for the first time. And in that moment, she looked so much older, and yet, so much younger than she was. He felt himself responding to her, and he looked away quickly, chastising himself for ever thinking such things about little Dawnie. But she wasn't so little anymore. This trip was going to kill him.

Dawn could tell something was wrong by the way Xander had just been looking at her. It was the same way Spike used to, and still sometimes does, look at Buffy. In his gaze, she could feel his hunger and lust. And God help her, but she felt it, too. But now, whatever was there is gone because he turned away, and he's back to being the guy that kidnapped her and is still pretending he's doing the right thing.

Xander was busy studying the wall when he heard her ask quietly, "Can we call them?" He tilted his head and saw her sitting on the bed across from him, hands trembling as they reached out for the telephone. "Nah, Dawn. We don't need to call."

Pout turning to glare, she protested, "Why not? They'll want to hear from us. To know we're all right."

"They're busy, Dawn. They don't need us to distract them." It hurt to say those words, but he knew he had to. Had to pretend to not care, when inside he was screaming and lost.

It was like there was a never-ending ring in Dawn's ears that she just couldn't get rid of. How could Xander say that? She needed to know that Buffy needed her. Even though she suspected the worst, that the answer was no, your sister doesn't need another girl to worry about, it just hurt too much to never be able to go home again. Upset with anything and everything, she yanked up the covers, slipped inside, and rolled over to face the wall, clinging to Mr. Gordo.

Xander sighed as he turned off the light and relaxed into the bed.

* * *

Xander is the King of Creepy Motels. He's had his fair share, all right, and they never came without a story. There was his rough-and-tumble experience with Faith in her dingy palace of sex. When he did the "road trip, see America" thing, he had his stay at some grimy places, watching lame movies like 'Grand Canyon.' Instead of spending his wedding night in a posh hotel, he spent it in a rundown room with no air conditioning. He thought that that had been the worst, but he was wrong. Nothing compared to this. Not because of the place, necessarily, but because of why he was there. He tossed and turned incessantly, never seeming to be able to get comfortable. It wasn't the bed or the cheap pillow he rested his head on. Everything was so screwed up, and he kept replaying everything over and over again in his head. Maybe if that night with Caleb had been different, he would be back in Sunnydale with his friends where he belonged. But that was all in the past, and now he had a new mission. He had to take care of Dawn.

It was nearly six in the morning, and he was still awake. He looked over to see how Dawn was holding up. She was sound asleep, unmoving, and still turned away from him with the pig, her memory of home, cradled in her arms. Pushing the blankets back, he swung his feet around the side of the bed and stood up. It took a minute for him to gain his balance; he didn't know if he would ever get over the change in depth perception that only having one eye would bring. Slowly as to not make a sound, he crept over to the small window on Dawn's side of the room. He pulled open the black-out curtains just enough so he could look outside without waking her.

Alexander Harris stayed up to see the sun rise that morning. It comforted him, knowing that the same sun was rising back home in Sunnydale. His friends could see that sun. That sun filled him with hope.

* * *

Buffy is crying. Dawn can see Buffy, and she is alone on a hill in a pale pink dress, and she is crying. She's looking at something; Dawn sees a marble stone, somebody's grave, but she can't see who it belongs to.

Dawn turns around and walks away, down a path and into the woods. There's a clearing up ahead, and she notices a bright white light illuminating the trees. She runs towards the glitter and shine. It's her mother. Her mother glows and gleams, and she is an angel.

And then Joyce says the words that will haunt Dawn forever. "When it's bad, Buffy won't choose you."

Dawn tries to cry, "No! She wants me! She needs me! She promised!" But it's too late now. She is up on the tower, and Buffy is pushing her, and she is falling falling falling.

And someone is calling to her.

"Dawn! Dawn, are you all right?"

She opened her eyes, and there was Xander, rushing over from the window to make sure everything was okay because she was screaming and sobbing and thrashing around. Her knight in shining armor. And she didn't pull away when he hugged her tight and let her cry it all out.

After all, it's just for one night, and she won't pull away.


End file.
